aging sucks raising dad and mom

our parents are aging. i am lucky enough to still have both parents. we are facing facts that these amazing people who brought me into this world, won’t be around forever. I thought I would share a bit of my struggles and coping with all this.

here is a bit of history on how they came to live with us.  My mom became showing symptoms of memory loss. Alzheimer’s my grandpa had that and grandma had dementia. hubby and i knew they would need us so we took action and they came to live with us while they were in fairly good health. mom and dad are closer to grankiddos now and can enjoy the wee ones. all this happened about seven years ago. i am thankful for that.

Mom’s story

my mom is following in both my grandparents footsteps, my grandpa had Alzheimer’s, my grandma dementia, that alone is terrifying to me. we began noticing this about eight years ago. luckily they started her on ariceipt right away and she was good for a few years.  lately not so much. she sleeps a lot more and has so much trouble concentrating, staying on task and just general easy things take all day. she could make the best beans  and rice in town now they burn a lot of the times. i asked her about making tortillas  from scratch and got that stare that is now reality. other than that they she seems ok, just slipping a bit faster these days.

Dad’s Story

dad however is changing before my eyes which is why i am writing today. dad is diabetic, type 2 which explains his love for sweets. he has always been an active person, loves to do projects, help out with anything. always on the go. now he is very overweight, short of breath because of it. yes all the critical test support that area. that is a good thing. about i  four months ago his legs began to swell, add that to his other symptoms and i panicked. we have tested again all is good with heart, but his leg circulation is bad, causing ulcers and leg wound.

enter wound care specialist. now they came when insurance got them there, don’t get me started on that one. boo. they were wonderful she came and told him what he needed to do, what i needed to do and it worked. now enter vaca at brother’s house, diet out the door caring for legs, wear the damn ugly socks! elavate your legs walk. you guessed it back to step one. problem it has been a month and no wound care, i do what the specialist taught me and finally the specialist is coming tomorrow. dad’s leg is a mess again . i did what i was suppose to, but he has to take part which is hard.

bring up dad is not getting any easier! it is my job i  have to. he won’t do it himself, but hey where are my siblings? stay tuned the dr told my parents it is time to share the load with them.  it is so hard to know how to handle parental issues.  they are my parents, i love them and want to do all i can to help them. it is horrible to watch them to fall before my eyes. in my heart i know this is the only choice to be made.

how would you tell your siblings time to step up to the plate?


About oursweetlifetogether

married to my high school sweet heart for 35 yrs, three children and nine grandchildren. hint child bride, we love our dog mollie. i enjoy cooking, the outdoors,crafts blahh blahh blahh.I love life. i guess that is why we live in a little canyon in the mts. i have a crazy life that i love. hold grab a glass enjoy the ride.
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11 Responses to aging sucks raising dad and mom

  1. I’m not here yet and for me I’ve only got one sister to go through this with. We always find that laying it all on the table works for us. If you say what you are feeling out loud, sometimes the other party doesn’t even realize that’s where you are coming from. Good luck to you.

    • Thank you Jaime. Boy alot happened since that post. I am working on updating it, I never got to have that chat with my siblings.My Dad got ill and had to be admitted, my sister is coming around , but my brother is dealing with it by ignoring it, Soon to be addressed, I agree that we need a sit down and that will be coming, By the way Dad is ok but we may have a tough road ahead, Thank you for your insite, appreciate it,, i am updating his status tomorrow come back and see what you think,

  2. Update on dad. last night they admitted him. his blood count was very low 6.6 so now we run tests. tons if test and see what’s causing blood lose. Thank you for comments thru twitter comment hour keep the update going

  3. Lizzie says:

    I can’t even imagine what you’re going through because I’m an only child. And this terrifies me beyond belief. But you need to be straight with your siblings and tell them how you feel as simply as you can. Don’t be afraid of being honest because in the long run it’ll help out massively. Good luck, and keep us updated. xoxo

    • Thank you for comments I am so late responding. Things are good we go to hemotologist this week so far Dad is good. Once we have all test in I will work out our family issues. It is tough but I have faith thank you

  4. Erin says:

    We also have alzheimer’s in our family, so I’d be lying if what you’re going through didn’t cross my mind at times. My parents are still young enough for me not to worry, but reading your story made me think about what my siblings would do in case one of my parents became ill. I wonder if it is ever too soon to have that conversation. My heart goes out to you and your husband—you are such an incredibly strong couple—and I hope that you continue to find your way through these difficult times.

    • Erin Thank you for your support. It has been a bit of a strain on the two of us I won’t lie. I think it us making us stronger in the end. We hope to have news this week from hematologist. I feel I can move forward then. Sorry for being tardy on responses I have read them a bunch.

  5. Eve says:

    Unfortunately, I am starting to know how you feel. In 2008 my mom had 2 strokes and it disabled her. She’s now in a wheelchair and my father cares for her full time. It’s difficult for him as he has Diabetes and high blood pressure himself and had a toe amputated last year. I am on the other side of the country, which makes this situation so hard for me to handle. I have 2 sisters and a brother living within an hour of my parent’s house and they don’t visit. They visit 1-2 a month and that’s it. It’s OUTRAGEOUS and it makes me so mad I could scream. I have called them countless times and asked them to help out more and all they ever say is that they’re busy. I get it. We all have our own lives to lead, but hello, these are our parents! The same people who stayed up all night with us when we were sick and came to all our school activities. It’s our job to take care of them now. But they don’t get it. I swear sometimes I wonder how I’m related to these kids. UGH.

    I’m sure you saw on my blog that my sister recently moved from Boston. She was unselfish and quit her job here and is moving her family in with my parents. She’s going to take care of them since our other siblings suck. I’m grateful to her for this, but I’m sad she’s gone. I know it’s for the best though.

    My mom’s dad died of with Alzheimers and I fear that’s next on the horizon. I hope not. I’m so very sorry for your parental situation, but know that I feel your pain and frustration. The great thing about blogging is that you know there’s a community of people around you who “get” you and understand. Chip up, babe!

    • Eve I am sorry for being tardy responding. I hear you they are our parents. They loved us took care of us and now it is our time. I hope you get to see your sister soon. You guys need to stay connected . Thank you for caring

  6. We are going through this with my grandmother right now. She’s fading very quickly.

    I did find this resource today while I was researching my grandmother’s case. Hopefully it might help you as well.

    Family Caregiver Alliance

    I’m keeping your family in my prayers.

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